(50) Foyer horibilus: deux

Devoting our fiftieth post to the unpleasantness at the local ATM is not our idea of fun. Originally we had a Neighbourhood Spring Festival & Children's Machine Gun Jamboree planned but the Cray III supercomputer gave the interns some debugging issues and the appropriate permits could not be secured in time for the weekend. Oh well, there's always the 100th posting to plan for!

TD Canada Trust has offered us little more than further corporate marketing trash talk regarding cleanliness though after hours access has been restored. Without pressure from the POWcityblog we'd still be banking outside with the crackheads! Nonetheless, it may simply be time to switch to ING. A virtual bank isn't likely to take money from us in exchange for the use of a filthy, pissed-in ATM foyer now is it?

Prior to opening the most recent email on this topic we had Miranda ready a couple of interns with plastic drop cloths, mop-and-bucket, horse tranquilizers and a Bible. When we first approached TD Canada Trust regarding this ATM years ago we naively opened mail without such precautions thinking them to be sincere in their efforts at customer service.

As we read their codswallop we began to feel unwell. A painful torquing sensation developed on the left side of our neck. Soon we were viewing our library three-hundred and sixty degrees at a time as our head began rotating on our shoulders a la Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Vomit began spewing out of our mouths all over the walls and our Cray III interface table. Our copy of the BNA Act and a first edition of The Rights of Man by Thomas Paine were liberally splashed with the partially digested remains of what had been a rather delicious Mongolian barbecue dinner put on by Miranda earlier in the evening. Both documents had to be sent to a sophisticated aerospace library where they were subjected to advanced cleaning techniques. We have not forgotten the painful sores that broke out all over us either. We make a simple enquiry and next thing we know we need a month of rehab in Hawaii! The mind boggles.

My bank, my way!

editor's note: that's our intern Josephine during a brief stint as a bank customer service representative in 2003. Out of view on her ankle is a 600-volt electrical lead connected to a suerpvisor's PC. Thanks Josephine, we love you to pieces!